Learning to Trust

God is really stretching me to really trust Him with everything in my life. There are times where I hide from God and think He does not know what He is doing, especially in the middle of chaos. When uncertainty surrounds me and I have absolutely no control, I get scared. Lately, God has been telling me to surrender everything to Him, no matter how hard it is, and no matter what it is. When things do not make sense, I rest in the fact that God knows best. However, it is a lot easier saying it than living it out. This is something that I am constantly working on. I know that God will bless my obedience and faith in Him. I find it crucial to daily commit all of my ways to Him and put my entire life in His hands.

This is something on the smaller scale of me trusting God... I was suppose to go visit Keegan this weekend, as it has been 5 weeks since we have seen each other. Well... due to circumstances beyond my control I cannot go this weekend. It is soo heart-breaking to me, and hard. It was the PERFECT weekend. I got off of work on Friday, had Monday off, had good airfare and everything looked good... Then... all of the sudden I cannot go anymore. I have been planning this trip since June, so it is disappointing. I am trusting that God has His reasoning even though I do not see it. I do not know when I will be seeing Keegan again, but I can only pray it will be soon. It has just been really hard lately being in a long distance relationship. I am trusting God to work everything out, because I know in the end it will be all worth it!

I am in a place in my life where I am ready for what God has for me next. I do not want to say I am discontent, because I am very blessed. However, I am anxious for the next step. Now, that I have graduated from college, I am 'waiting' to see what is next. I feel like I am living in a 'waiting stage' and it is very frustrating at times. I know there is a lot of change right around the corner, but I am open to it and I am excited for it. As I am in the 'waiting stage' of life, I know that God is preparing me for what He has for me next. It just gets hard because most of my friends do not live in the Chicago area, but rather Minneapolis & Springfield (where I went to school). I miss being able to hang out with my friends. Enough rambling... I know through all of this God has His hand in it... It is hard to see at times and I am learning to trust God with those areas in my life where I have no control, even though I obviously have no choice.