Learning to Trust

God is really stretching me to really trust Him with everything in my life. There are times where I hide from God and think He does not know what He is doing, especially in the middle of chaos. When uncertainty surrounds me and I have absolutely no control, I get scared. Lately, God has been telling me to surrender everything to Him, no matter how hard it is, and no matter what it is. When things do not make sense, I rest in the fact that God knows best. However, it is a lot easier saying it than living it out. This is something that I am constantly working on. I know that God will bless my obedience and faith in Him. I find it crucial to daily commit all of my ways to Him and put my entire life in His hands.

This is something on the smaller scale of me trusting God... I was suppose to go visit Keegan this weekend, as it has been 5 weeks since we have seen each other. Well... due to circumstances beyond my control I cannot go this weekend. It is soo heart-breaking to me, and hard. It was the PERFECT weekend. I got off of work on Friday, had Monday off, had good airfare and everything looked good... Then... all of the sudden I cannot go anymore. I have been planning this trip since June, so it is disappointing. I am trusting that God has His reasoning even though I do not see it. I do not know when I will be seeing Keegan again, but I can only pray it will be soon. It has just been really hard lately being in a long distance relationship. I am trusting God to work everything out, because I know in the end it will be all worth it!

I am in a place in my life where I am ready for what God has for me next. I do not want to say I am discontent, because I am very blessed. However, I am anxious for the next step. Now, that I have graduated from college, I am 'waiting' to see what is next. I feel like I am living in a 'waiting stage' and it is very frustrating at times. I know there is a lot of change right around the corner, but I am open to it and I am excited for it. As I am in the 'waiting stage' of life, I know that God is preparing me for what He has for me next. It just gets hard because most of my friends do not live in the Chicago area, but rather Minneapolis & Springfield (where I went to school). I miss being able to hang out with my friends. Enough rambling... I know through all of this God has His hand in it... It is hard to see at times and I am learning to trust God with those areas in my life where I have no control, even though I obviously have no choice.

This past summer

Life after graduation has been fun but challenging all at once. A lot has happened but I am very happy to be done with school. Especially after taking 40 credits this past 9 months.

I am working at a property management company doing administrative work. I enjoy my job and the people I work with. It has been very fun having my first full time job. I started working 10AM to 7PM but I am now working 8:30AM to 5:30PM. I am enjoying working these hours a lot better=) I have been working here for 1 month now. After graduation I applied for jobs and I was surprised to find myself with 3 job offers. God truly blessed me and I chose the one that I thought suited me well.

Being home this summer with my family has been such a blessing. After going out of state to school for the past 4 years, it is finally nice to be able to stay in one place and have my family with me. JJ & Amanda have loved having me home, as well as Ben & Shawna. They are so cute. As soon as I come home from work I get kisses & hugs. Amanda always wants to cuddle up and sleep with me. They are just getting so big it blows my mind. When I started college Amanda was only 3 weeks old!

Keegan is officially a youth Pastor!! I am so proud of him. He is living in Douglasville, Georgia pastoring at a church called Church of Chapel Hill. The youth group size is around 140, which is a decent size for someone just starting out. The church itself is about 1500. It is an incredible church. Keegan has been using his gifts making new changes for the better of the ministry such as: small groups, creating a hang out atmosphere, putting together a created team, & launching REACH (iamreach.com). He has a lot on his plate as he does everything.

During the 4th of July weekend, I had the opportunity to fly out there and see everything for myself, and to celebrate Keegan’s 24th birthday. We went to the cheesecake factory! I enjoyed myself very much. I stayed with one of the pastors on staff and his family. They were so welcoming and very hospitable! I did have a lot of emotions running through me. I felt like everyone was looking at me and I had to perform. Perform what? Good question, ha. Keegan, told me to just be who I am, it does not matter and I do not have to perform. He loves me the way I am and that is all the matters. It was a very short but enjoyable weekend.

My birthday was 3 weeks ago and Keegan flew out for it. It was a great time to see him again. The highlight of the weekend was definitely a sunset cruise off of Lake Michigan. I had an ice-cream cake for my birthday and it was delicious!

I was going to go to graduate school this fall but God had other plans. It was too late to apply. I am just trusting God that His timing is perfect. God has been so faithful though everything. I am so blessed to have God’s favor on my life! It is going to be different as this fall I will not be attending school, as I have for the past 17 years of my life, lol… I am enjoying being in the ‘real world’, ha! It is hard to be away from Keegan as it has been over a year, but through all of it, we remain strong. Keegan has been such an incredible boyfriend by keeping the romantic element in the mix even though we are away! I have not posted all summer long, I will be better at it now that I am a little more established=D

Graduation!!

I graduated from Evangel University last Friday with a BBA in Management. It was a great ceremony. We had the largest graduating class, 500 students. My family came down as well as my grandparents and Keegan. It was a great time. I graduated with honors and with cords in SIFE. It is an awesome feeling to be done, yet I am still trying to get used to it. I am sure it will hit more come fall and everyone else is going back to school and I am not. I am excited to get a job, and enjoy life! Keegan graduated from NCU on Friday. I went up to Minneapolis for the weekend and spent time with his family. It was a great weekend.

At the end of this month Keegan is moving. He got a youth pastor position at an awesome church that I cannot say the name of until April 24th when it is announced to the congregation. I am very excited for what God is going to do through Keegan. It is a great opportunity for him. I am very proud of him. He is also working on REACH, check it out iamreach.com. It will hopefully be launching this week. Spread the word to any youth pastors you know.

As for me, I am in the middle of a transition. I am going to start looking for jobs this week and I hope to have a job by August. I wanted to take a small break after graduation to recuperate. I am excited but nervous all at once. I know that God is going to direct my steps and guide me. I am just in a spot right now where I am confused at what where God wants me right now. I thought I had everything planned out for the summer, and it seems to me that every time I have a plan, it gets changed. I am learning to be patient and just waiting upon the Lord. I have been praying constantly for God to show me where He wants me and to give me some direction as I embark on this new adventure. I am excited to see where God brings me in the next few months or even weeks!

As I left Minneapolis on Saturday, I was sooo emotional. I think it was because I was leaving MN for good. Since Keegan will not be up there any more, I will not be making any trips anytime soon. I do not know the next time I will see my friends up there. Also, I will not be going back to NCU anytime soon and NCU holds a special place in my heart. That is where I met God, where God changed my life, where God intervened for me, where I wrestled with God, where God showed me what I should do with my life, where I met Keegan, where I met all of my wonderful friends, where I served in leadership for 3 years. I never expected to get emotional, but it hit me as I left. Also, it was very hard leaving Keegan this time. I cried three times before I left. I just want to be with him and not a part any more. I hate having to say goodbye. But I know that God is making me a stronger person through this. I know that soon I will be with him. I think I am more sad because he will be moving and I will not be moving with him. I am just putting my trust in God and that is the best thing to do!!

17 days!!!

It has been way too long since I have blogged. Life has been so crazy. I have had so many school projects, presentations, papers and exams to take on top of school and church activities. My family came to visit us kids down here 3 weekends ago for College Days and the Mussetters were down here as well. Stephanie stayed two nights with me. It was great to see them. One of those night my little sister Amanda stayed with Steph and I. It was her first dorm experience. It was so much fun, except for the fact that she hogs the bed. I was out of town two weekends ago to Dallas for the SIFE Regional Competition. It was a lot of fun. I was gone this past weekend for Easter. I went home and Keegan met me there. It was great to see him again. Every year I go to a Youth Convention during that weekend and it was cool because Keegan and I got to lead it together this year. My poor sister was sick all weekend with a kidney infection, but Praise the Lord she is getting better.

Well, graduation is only 17 days away... and I will be a college graduate... How time flies. I remember being a freshman in college having to go to my OL group with Christina as my leader. I am very excited for what God has for me after I graduate. I officially know what I am going to be doing this summer. I declined the job that was offered to me here in Springfield. I just felt that it wasn't where God wanted me, and I have a peace in my Spirit about my decision. I am going to be going home for the summer and then look for a job by the fall and move out after that hopefully by August. I want to be able to enjoy my summer with my family while at the same time workon the side. I am excited for a fun summer. I will also be closer to Keegan, so he will be coming up to visit as often as he can. Keegan is not sure what he is doing yet but he does have some opportunities that he is awaiting on. I am excited to see where God takes him because I know He is going to be a great youth pastor and that God will use Him in a powerful way.

Back to School

Spring Break came and went. It was a blast!!! I spent 10 days with Keegan and it was AMAZING! It was 3 months since the last time I saw him, so it was well needed time. I spent 3 days in Kansas City meeting Keegan's family. I was so nervous meeting his family. His dad is really nice and I enjoyed meeting him. His nephew turned one that weekend, so I met everyone at Buster's birthday party. Also, at church I met everyone. It was a lot of people to met in one weekend. Keegan has talked about how he wanted to take me on a date in Kansas City for a year and a half. We finally got to go on a date. He took me to an Italian restaurant called Brio, and it was the best Italian food I have ever had! It was a really special night for the both of us. We then traveled up to Minneapolis for the remained of the week. But on the way up, we stopped to see my friend Elizabeth in Iowa. It was soo good to see her!! It was so awesome to see my besties. I spent a lot of time with them as well as Keegan during the week. I felt like I was in heaven. It was 6 months since I saw my besties. I also got to see people from church. My last night there, Keegan cooked me dinner. It was very romantic of him. I was definitely spoiled for the week and coming back to Springfield was hard. I miss him soo much, but in 52 days I will get to see him again. He is so good to me and treats me so good. I am one blessed girl to have a man like him.

My sister moved next door to me. We are now officially suit mates and I love it!! She has a king size bed in her room so there will be many parties in her room for the remainder of the semester. Tonight we are having a girl's sleepover in her room.I am soaking it up since this will be the last time we go to school together. I am sad though because a good friend of mine Jaclyn is leaving in a week to go to beauty school. It will be different when she is gone.

I am overwhelmed with work until school is out. I am preserving until the end. My mom ordered my graduation announcements tonight. Graduating does not seem real and I am not sure that it will until I am walking down with my gap and gown on. I am trying to enjoy my last 7 weeks of school while at the same time get all of my work done. It can be a hard task at times. I am still seeking God in regards to my summer plans. I know that He will direct my plans and my steps. I am excited to see where God is taking me.